Online Dating?

I was bored at work the other day and thought I would put up a post on Craigslist. I posted one on the personal section of men looking for women. You would not believe the responses I had received. I did it as a joke at first but then took it seriously when I was getting responses from some really cool and hot women. Here is what I posted:

My Journey

I just got back from Alaska where I was building igloos for the Eskimo homeless. It was there I realized even after tracking down Saddam Hussein , ending the cold war, coming close to curing cancer, and kicking Chuck Norris's ass that my life was still incomplete. I continued my journey from Alaska and walked across the Bering Straight through Russia, around the Sea of Okhotsk, to find myself in a small Tibetan town. It was here during Losar, the Tibetan New Year Festival that I realized what was missing in my life. I needed to find myself a woman. So I decided to head west. My journey continued through Europe where I came short on traveling funds and had to join the Manchester United Football Club. After scoring the game winning goal in the Premiere League Championship I cashed my signing bonus and got a one way flight to Philadelphia. The plane crashed somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic. It was here a real test of manhood took over me. All 120 passengers except for me where unconscious,drowning, and circled with Great Whites. As I fended off the sharks I continued to search for the passengers and pulling them up to the life raft. I found all 119 passengers. The only problem was that now there wasn't enough room for me on the raft. Since I was all ready half way to America I decided to swim. One week later I finally washed up on the shores of New Jersey. I hung out on this nice Island they called Sea Isle, caught a tan, and a well deserved drink. The girls there where nice but I knew it wasn't going to be a Jersey girl that I would fall for. I am no Bruce. So finally I made it to Philly. Now I am here on CL personal adds because after being in Philly for a few years I still haven't found "her". Please help me for I am exhausted.