The World Series starts Wednesday night and much is being made of Phillies-Rays not being the most attractive matchup from a ratings standpoint. But since FOX is doing the broadcasting (and they aired Temptation Island) we assume they plan to pull out all the stops in an effort to maximize viewership, so we’ve come up with several outside the box suggestions to increase ratings:
NFL Cheerleaders
Probably the best thing both Tampa and Philadelphia have going for them is each city’s remarkable NFL cheerleader talent. We doubt these pretty ladies’ schedules are so hectic that they can’t take some time out of their week to line the baselines dressed in skimpier versions of those League of Their Own outfits. Bonus entertainment when a foul ball is hit their direction.
Exhibition Wrestling
Why not spice things up with a little pregame wrestling? Kicking things off with an exhibition match pitting Rays fan Brian “Nasty Boy” Hobbs vs. Stallone as Philly’s own Rocky Balboa (a la Rocky III) is a guaranteed crowd pleaser. Maybe work in some celebrity boxing from there.
Booze Off: Wade Boggs vs. Philly
Wade Boggs lives in Tampa, ended his career with the Rays, and boasts the most legendary booze-guzzling status of any man alive. If FOX is serious about manufacturing ratings they’d arrange a “Wade Boggs takes all comers” drink-off vs. the city of Philadelphia. We’re talking Super Bowl sized ratings.
Always Sunny Promos
Major League Baseball loses a lot of street cred when they bombard audiences with promos starring the unfunny likes of Dane Cook and Frank Caliendo. How about, since Philly is in the World Series, the MLB sanctions new promos featuring the gang from Always Sunny in Philadelphia. We’re sure they’d have plenty of clever ideas, like something involving a masturbating bum.
More Jenn Sterger
This is pretty intuitive, seeing that more Jenn Sterger is always better than less Jenn Sterger. And she’d definitely bring friends, which is a bonus. We’re also thinking a Major League-esque life size cut-out of Sterger with removable articles of clothing might just be the motivational tool Rays players need to bring home World Series rings.
Play Football
And finally, the one sure fire way to increase TV ratings is to play football instead of baseball. This strategy is foolproof.
